Its not easy being Ah Tong

Its not easy being me because of the following points:

1. I'm fat.
2. I'm very very lazy.
   
3. I need to maintain my body weight. (^^)
4. I'm not visually appealing.
5. I can consider myself anti-social.
6. I have a hairstyle which is about 2 decades old.
7. I'm not rich.
8. I have a job which requires me to work only 2 weeks per month.
9. I get 1 week of off days if I apply 2 days leave.(terms and conditions apply)
10. I can sleep during work hours.
11. I can go shopping at 1Utama while working.(terms and conditions apply)
12. I'm into all the latest gadgets.
13. I read HWM magazine but prefer Playboy and Hustler.

But I enjoy my current life and hoped to improve its quality in the near future.