Sunday, November 12, 2006


I think I'm suffering from depression with suicidal tendency. How do I know?

I felt that my world is collapsing on me. The things that I did seems wrong in other people's eyes. My mind is thinking a lot of unwanted things. I can get easily suspicious over minor minor things. I think a lot of details to a simple matter. I can get angry very easily. Sometimes I wanted to just leave everything behind and go. Like to a faraway place. No worries, no sorrows, no pains. Just peace and quiet, no one to nag at me. No need to worry about the everyday commitments. No need to be used as an item compared by someone.

Sometimes, I would wondered how would it felt to be in hell. For the things that I'd done, Heaven do not have a place for me. I wonder what is it like in the other world. People always said that when someone passed away, they will start a new life in the other world. Is it nice to start a new life? They also said that in the other world, things will be the same as it is in the living world. So it doesn't matter where I may be.

I felt like bursting anytime. I can get very very violent at times. I'm trying to control my current situation. I'm a living time bomb.

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